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If you and your former spouse are in a co-parenting relationship in Massachusetts, you might find it all but impossible to come to any sort of agreement. This is a detriment to your kids, especially if the lack of understanding causes resentment and ill-feeling between you and your ex. If you’re having trouble coping, Medium offers the following advice.

If your ex is still angry with you about the split, he or she may withhold visits with your child. While meant to hurt you, the child at the center of the custody battle is the one is going to be hurt the most. If visits are being withheld, you should contact your attorney right away. If you have a court ordered visitation schedule in place, the other parent must ensure you’re spending time with your child. You might want to modify the original custody order, which ensure you and your child can have time together.

It can be difficult for parents to accept their new role in their kids’ lives after divorce. As a result, your ex may come across as extremely moody. Some days you may be welcomed to their home with open arms to spend time as a collective, and on other days you might get the cold shoulder with no real understanding of why. It’s best to respond with politeness and civility, no matter what type of behavior you’re being afforded.

While some people feel it’s better to cut off communication than to constantly bicker, keep in mind this is doing a real disservice to your kids. In many cases, your children will need to pick up the slack when it comes to communication, which can lead to passing messages back and forth between you and your ex. If your former parent fails to respond to your messages, keep trying to interact. Even if communication is relegated to child-rearing topics only, you still need to be in contact to ensure your children receive the best care possible.